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Learn Her

Writer's picture: Julie Woodley, MAJulie Woodley, MA

To all men—Listen up!  Do you want that special woman to “take notice” of you?  To say yes to an invitation of an intimate relationship?  Then give up seeing her as a problem to be solved.


Yes, it is true that men’s minds work differently. Spatial abstractions, logic, analysis-men tend to excel in these because you are more left-brained.  Men tend to compartmentalize, a great God given capacity to administer justice, handle war, and it makes them excellent surgeons, chess players, and auto mechanics.  And yet, many men hide behind logic and reason.  I don’t buy it. Men must grow beyond reason and logic.  Rise up men!  Women are more (much more) then a problem to be solved, rather a mystery to be known and loved.  In the movie, The Constant Gardner, a man falls in love with a younger woman, Tess.  He wants to know how he can love her.  Tess gives a simple statement “learn me.”   Any man would be a fool not to respond to that statement, you see even David, who was a cunning warrior, was also an incredible romantic poet. 


Lover awaken!  The poetic is far more romantic and truer than the analytical and propositional.  First of all and most importantly: nurture your own relationship with God and then gently pull her close.  Capture her heart as you learn her!  Love her in the kitchen, love her in her tears, love her as she expresses grief and loss, and experience joy with her.  Love her in the darkest of times, feel life with her, pray with her, worship with abandonment, and love life and her with passion.


Live your life interior free.  As you do she will become attracted to the freedom in you.  A free man or woman creates a space where others feel safe and want to dwell. No conditions, demands, requirements or obligations. Only an invitation to become intimate.  This place of inner freedom is where God resides.  Do you want to have an incredible love affair with your Beloved.  “Learn her, romance her” speak sweet words to the depth of her heart.  She will respond and a great love affair will be in the making with God smack dab in the middle.  The greatest romancer ever!


"With great delight I sat in His shadow, and His fruit was sweet to my taste. He brought me to the banqueting house, and His intention toward me was love."

(NRSV 2:3-4)


"I sat down under His shadow with great delight, and His fruit was sweet to my taste. He brought me to the banqueting house, and His banner over me was love."

(KJV 2:3-4)

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